…that’s because all the other churches claim they won FIRST
You guys aren’t gonna believe how they won…read the 3 reasons below:
The good news: The new pastor, David Willis, is from Dothan, Alabama…and he is friendly to a fault! The bad news: When someone visits or joins, he gives them either a mood ring or a lava lamp. We’re proud of that lava lamp, as it just won Alabama’s comeback appliance of the year!
The good news: Forest Park UMC has the only lazy-boy-ultra-plush reclining pews in the entire Panhandle of Florida! The bad news: A fistfight determines who gets to use them. Last week we had a 93 year old grandma take down a 230 lb Mosley linebacker for her right to the lazy-boy reclining pew.
The good news: Capt. Anderson’s caters our free all you can eat visitor & member celebration dinner. The bad news: It happens on the 53rd week of the year.