If we go to church on a regular basis, I bet we can count on just one thumb all the sermons we’ve heard on the topic of gossip. In fact, even if both of our thumbs have been cut off we could probably still count them. Why is that? I suspect it might be because most of us, including the clergy, do occasionally gossip. Think about it.
On the other hand, how many sermons have we heard concerning alcohol or drug abuse? We would probably need a lot more thumbs to count the number of sermons which have touched on these subjects. Why is that? I suspect it might be because most of us, including the clergy, do not abuse drugs or alcohol.
Do we see a pattern here? It would appear that we prefer to talk about, or preach about, stuff that we or our congregations aren’t generally guilty of. That’s because we can step on just so many toes before those toes start leading members of the congregation to other churches. How many people in any given church congregation abuse alcohol? My guess is maybe ten percent. So naturally, we hear sermons on the damage caused by drinking. Here’s another question: how many people in any given church congregation occasionally gossip? My guess is that the percentage is fairly substantial. Therefore, we probably don’t hear too many sermons on the damage caused by gossiping.
Houston, we have a problem!
Okay, so it’s Monday morning and time to go witnessing to the secular heathens in that target rich environment, the American workplace. And sure enough, at the office water fountain we might hear the first witnessing line of the day. “Hey Sally, I heard that Mr. Wilson got tanked again this weekend. And I’m betting he flirted with every waitress in the restaurant. Wilson needs to bring his rear end to church!” And guess what Sally is thinking … ”Why don’t YOU just shut your mouth and learn to quit gossiping, you self-righteous hypocrite?”
Beautiful! We have just managed to scare off another one. I can just see Jesus wiping his brow and saying to himself, “Why in the name of heaven did we ever give them mouths?”
Now, I would hope that a greater percentage of Christians don’t gossip, but we are going to have a little paper sermon about the “g-word” just in case. The best definition of gossip I’ve ever heard goes something like this: when we are talking about someone that has done something that we don’t agree with, if we are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution, we are gossiping. Now, here comes the sermon … please turn off your cell phones and get them babies to quit screaming.
A LITTLE PAPER SERMON:
A pastor in a small Southern Baptist church finally decided it was time to confront Ms. Willis about her gossiping. Numerous members had complained about her spreading half-truths and innuendos among the congregation. Pastor Rick decided to begin their discussion by giving her an example of that which he had first-hand knowledge. It was her account of what happened when Chuck Riley left his pick-up truck parked in front of Widow Mary Watson’s house over the weekend.
Ms. Willis suspected an affair. And she made sure just about everybody in town knew it. The fact of the matter was, however, that Chuck’s truck had broken down on Friday afternoon after an air-conditioning service call. The widow, who also happened to be Pastor Rick’s sister, left town five days ago and had asked Rick to call Chuck’s Heating and Air Conditioning to see if he would stop by her house and check on a malfunctioning thermostat.
When confronted by Pastor Rick with those facts, Ms. Willis’ face turned a bright shade of red. But he wasn’t finished, he wanted to make a point, and boy did he ever! Pastor Rick told Ms. Willis that he wanted her to conduct a special training exercise that might have a rather substantial impact on her life. He handed her a pair of scissors, a pillow and asked her to cut it open. The pillow was full of feathers. Evidently, it wasn’t one of the two-dollar pillows from Wal-Mart. Next, Pastor Rick gave her the following instructions: ”I want you to spend the next week walking throughout our community placing a feather on every doorstep in town. Don’t report back to me until every last doorstep has a feather laying on it.” In her humiliation, she agreed to the task.
Ten days later a tired and scruffy Ms. Willis returned to Pastor Rick’s office. After she explained that every doorstep in town now had a feather on it, Pastor Rick simply said, “Good, now go back to every house and retrieve the feather from each doorstep.”
“What!” Ms. Willis protested, “There’s no way! By now those feathers will be scattered all over town!”
Pastor Rick, with just a hint of a smirk on his face responded, “Yes, Ms. Willis, that’s precisely the point! And just like all those feathers, your words about Chuck and Mary can never be retrieved; by now they’re scattered all over town!”
So people, here’s the moral of our story: if we aren’t either part of the problem or part of the solution, let’s please keep our pie-holes shut. And yes, I mean that in a loving, Christian sort of way. So the next time we are tempted to join in a nice juicy character assassination, let’s just remember the feather sermon. Maybe that will remind us that once a malicious or untrue word leaves our lips, it can never be retrieved.
“Houston, we may have solved the problem.”
But wait, there’s more! Just when we all thought I was through fussing about gossip, I have another more subtle form of gossip we need to discuss. I call it “prayer gossip.” The following is an example:
Joe calls Rick on Friday afternoon and during his casual conversation drops this bombshell: “I think the Feds may want to take over my bank … our liability to asset ratio is upside down.” Fast-forward to Sunday morning.
It prayer time in Sunday school class and it is Rick’s turn to pray. He prays his typical prayer and then slides in the big one: “Father God, please protect Joe’s bank from financial ruin. You know he is very concerned about the feds taking it over and I pray you will give him the strength and wisdom to deal with this crisis.” The news just revealed could add stature to Rick’s reputation because his best friend is Joe, President and CEO of the largest bank in town. No one has this insider information but Rick. And he can’t just go around repeating it in public because that would look like he is name-dropping or gossiping. Far be it
from Rick to ever even as much as consider such a thing! But including it in a prayer, well, now that may be just his subtle way to let his classmates know that he is privy to some really inside scoop!
And yes, everybody is impressed. Well, everybody with the possible exception of God. I think he pretty much fails to see the humor in prayer gossip. Sorry Rick, but this kind of stuff might get us stuck in the cheap seats of heaven, and that’s if we even make it at all!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we aren’t supposed to pray for these kinds of situations. I’m just saying that leaking gossip or confidential information under the guise of prayer is a pretty suspect way of impressing people. If you really, really want to impress someone, I’ve got the perfect idea. Go out and buy about 50,000 copies of this book. I can assure you that I will be impressed! Now that’s what I’m talking about!